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Monday, October 14, 2013

Blink....

It's been a rough month. The terrible two's and a newborn are KICKING my butt! how did I ever complain about ONE child!? The blessing is NOT knowing folks--- ignorance IS bliss! Seriously. Holy smokes! That said, today was PARTICULARLY rough. Without going into too much detail, let me define the day like this--- poop on the couch and the car seat and pink eye folks-----Yah, it sucked. Oooooo and of course the hubs was out of town, Isn't that always how it works for every Mom--- grrrrr!?!?!? That said, I was about to claw my eyes out and then I went to put M to sleep this evening..... Seriously people I was about to throw my screaming, teething, child in her crib, but then as I rocked her, she touched my face and gave the biggest sigh and  as she did it, seemed like" Ahhhhhh, now I have your attention."  I couldn't help but just breathe... smile. regroup. love. feel blessed. She's my girl, my baby..... 

Maybe it's the wine (it was a ROUGH day), maybe it's my adorable baby girl, but suddenly all I can think about is how FAST it's going. Ford is still my main squeeze, seriously, can he be any cuter? But honestly there is something about the bond btw a mother and daughter. God, I just want her to succeed. And by succeed I mean I want the world for her and by world, I mean however SHE defines it. I want her to smile every day of her life. I want her to know how special she is to me and to EVERYONE.  

She's my gift from God, but also my Grandpa. Marcelle wasn't planned and in fact, she wasn't even on our radar. My Grandfather passed away while "I was pregnant."  I flew home and was fortunate enough to say my goodbyes before he left this world, still totally oblivious that I was carrying our sweet Marcelle.  
(I'm convinced he played a part in this, in her, bc honestly, truthfully, I wasn't ready for a second baby yet and I don't know that I ever wouldv'e been.... I think my Grandpa knew I could handle it, handle her, knew I needed her, subconsciously wanted her, bc two weeks after his death, we found out we were blessed with another child and then that October, as if my Grandpa touched my heart, we found out it was a girl......). I have never cried so uncontrollably from happiness in my life.... my baby girl, my world. As the anniversary of her gender reveal approaches, I just feel thankful. Thankful for BOTH of these "little blessings" in my life. And thankful to my Granpdpa for putting a "good word" in about the "girl."  Lately we've been listening to a lot of  Plumb--- ladies, she wrote a whole album about the birth of her child---- AMAZING---- anyways, the other night, I "REALLY" heard this song and it just brought tears to my eyes. I know my baby girl and I will go through a rollercoaster of feelings for one another, but gosh, I hope and I pray she never doubts my love for her. EVER. 

I just love these lyrics...

I'd like to remember, I'd like to know all you are


I'd like to know everything you'll be



Where will you go? What will you do?


When the world's right in front of you
When I think of how slowly life passes by

Then I'll blink and you're growing




No longer a child

What I can do, to capture this moment in time
Is to sing you a lullaby






I like to watch you dream
I like to touch your face 

I like to hold you in a sweet embrace


When will you laugh? When will you cry?
When you need a special place to hide




When I think of how slowly life passes by
Then I'll blink and you're growing



No longer a child
What I can do, to capture this moment in time
Is to sing you a lullaby



I love you you sweet girl. My girl, baby Marcelle. 

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