A few bloggers like Natalie highlighted this article a few months back; however, lately I have found myself rereading it over and over again. I've been using it as my "reassurance" that I haven't completely lost my mind and as a reminder that there ARE other women like me out there in the world!
Being a Mom is wonderful, but gosh, so hard to explain to someone who's not. Hanging out with your bestie's kids, babysitting, nannying, etc. CANNOT prepare you for the 24/7 job that you embark upon when you become a Mom, it's just insane. It's on the job training at it's finest.
That said, lately I've found myself ultra sensitive to what others (non-mom's) may be thinking. I find myself holding back in conversations, resisting the urge to discuss growth spurts, feeding schedules, baby activities etc. and instead talking about anything and everything that isn't "Mommy" related so that my friends, or whoever I'm talking to for that matter, won't think "I've changed...." It's a slippery slope to climb. One of my friends (who shall remain nameless :)) left me a message the other day, and said something to the effects of "For someone who doesn't work you are extremely hard to get ahold of..." Well folks, I've got to tell you it just about sent me over the edge. I called my husband at work and went on a ten minute tirade, "What does she think I do all day, sit around and eat bonbons? Does she have any idea what it's like to do this!?!?"
After my husband talked me off the ledge and encouraged me to "let it go," I took a deep breath and started to think about the disconnect? Where/when does it happen? How come working girls and or non-moms are so far removed from what it's like? They were kids once, they had Moms, how come they don't realize what it takes? And please don't misunderstand, I'm not pointing fingers, just four short months ago, I was one of those non-moms and I too, used to wonder what the heck my Mom friends were doing?? WHY wasn't I more tolerant? Why did I give my Mom friends such a hard time when they didn't return my phone call? I cringe when I think about it, knowing now, that the fact that they called me back at all should have been celebrated!
So, to conclude (and to again, get off my soap box :)), I guess the point I'm trying to make is.... HUG YOUR MOM FRIEND today! You may not understand what goes on in their household and you may not "get" what makes them SO busy, but understand this...... if it's in your life plan to have a family one day, you'll be there soon enough, and trust me my friend, you will remember the times you teased your Mom friends and I promise, you will eat your words, especially when your calling her every thirty minutes for advice. I'm just saying... :)
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i have to say, i was one of those "disconnected working girls" (and to some extent, still am since I don't have bambinos yet) but my best friend had a baby a year ago and I got to see first hand just how time intensive and life-changing (in a good way) it is. And even though we talk baby stuff and all of emmalynn's "First," we talk other girly things still too! :)
ReplyDeleteand from a kids' perspective....I just had my mom in town over the weekend and have to say just how much i miss her, how awesome she is and how i realized just how awesome it must be to be a mom.
sorry for this long post but definitely don't hold back - being a mom is so important and huge!