Monday, April 18, 2011

Entering "Freakdom"

This past week has been tough. 

Anxious, does not even begin to mildly define the roller coaster of emotions I've been feeling. I am a thinker, a what-ifer, a planner, a worst case scenario"er"..... etc.... It's like a flood, that I just can't stop. So, last week I focused on a goal to distract myself..... Operation Get This Baby Out..... I tried everything I could to make baby Ford come early (as I explained in my posts last week) and obviously nothing worked. Now, here comes my due date (tomorrow) and I am an absolute nervous wreck. 

What if he doesn't come
What if I have to induce
What if there are complications with me
What if there are complications with him
What if the epidural doesn't work
What if he's not really 6 lbs and turns out to be huge (I'm small people!)
What if my water breaks and I don't realize it
What if I have to have a c-section
..... Can they put me to sleep if I have to have a c-section
What if I freak out about breast feeding?
.....Does that make me a bad Mom
What if there are complications after the birth
etc. etc. etc. 

Argh..... Currently lost in my emotions, please pray he comes soon before my mind sends me into a downward spiral into the pits of "freak-dom" 

(Hah, I just re-read my post.... it might be safe to say I've already gone down the spiral.....)


  1. You will be completely fine! I look up to you every day and there is a reason for that. You (my sister) are the strongest.. most unbelievably amazing woman ive ever known. Also Ford will be just fine. He is just being stubborn! Haha just wait till the terrible 2's come around :-D

    Also I know you. You will be an incredible mom! I love you tons :-) so relax (easier said than done) but just breathe. He will be here when its time :-)

  2. you will be fine.
    he will come.
    there won't be complications.
    you WILL know when your water breaks.
    the epi WILL work. and it's lovely :)
    just breathe. don't stress the little man out.
    and don't worry. we all felt this way when waiting for the little one to hurry on up already.
    you aren't a bad mom. save those emotions for breastfeeding :)


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